What has become of me?

May 12, 2011 § 6 Comments

As I write my dissertation, I have noticed new habits springing to the fore.

1. Writing phrases like “springing to the fore.”

2. Exhibiting evidence of brain damage.
2.a. Example: Last weekend, Robert had to repeat every single thing he said because I had trouble comprehending it.
2.b. Example: Last weekend, I misread the covers of more than one book as well as the heading for a genre section in the bookstore. The misreads were sexualized versions of the titles.
2.c. Example: I ramble incoherently…except when discussing my dissertation.

3. Dropping off the face of the planet, socially speaking, that is.

4. Preferring the greasiness of take-out over the wholesomeness of home-cooked meals.

And the kicker…
5. Having this for lunch on more than one occasion:

Okay, so it's only been twice that I've bought a Coke, but STILL!

Why is that such a big deal? Looks like such a normal lunch, right?

Wrong!

The problem with this equation is that I don’t drink Coke. I don’t drink any sodas. The running joke is that I don’t drink any carbonated beverage, unless there’s alcohol in it. The carbonation actually burns my throat and tongue, making it difficult to swallow the liquid…which then sits in my mouth and continues to burn my throat and tongue. It is not pleasurable to me to drink carbonated beverages…unless there’s alcohol involved. I tend to only drink water. Or chai. But never Coke without rum.

I’ve gone over the deep end, my friends. Help. Me.

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§ 6 Responses to What has become of me?

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